Writerly Confidence: a game of Chutes and Ladders

A writer's confidence can be as up and down as my feet while I teach a Bodystep class.

If you, as a writer, don't have those ups and downs, well then, you are a robot.

Over the weekend I watched a writer friend ride her ups and downs, but I'm certain, dare I say I'm confident, that she impressed many at the retreat. Why do we put ourselves through that? It's like a grown-up game of Chutes and Ladders.

But tonight I was thinking about a whole other type of writerly confidence. Not the "I'm a great writer one minute" sort of confidence followed by a the "I suck and should never write again" completely gone confidence. Instead it's the confidence with which you approach the computer (or paper or pencil), really, the way you attack your story.

Pardon me while I switch gears. Many of you know I also teach fitness classes (Bodypump and Bodystep). They are choreographed, group-fitness classes and as the instructor I must know a 60-minute class song by song, count by count. Not only that, but I need to demonstrate perfect form as well engage and connect with my class.

What's that have to do with writing you ask?

It does. It so does. (At least in my brain.)

I've especially noticed this as I've started to teach Bodystep (there is a lot going on and so much to remember). But here's the thing, if I go at it worried that I'm going to misstep or forget, then you know what happens? I misstep and forget. The second I lose confidence in my ability to deliver, I mess up...even though I know I can do it.

Isn't it the same with writing?

As soon as I start to get in my head and stop trusting that I can tell my story, that's when it all goes wrong. But if I sit down at the keyboard and let go, get out of my own way, and let the story flow out...well, that's when the magic happens.

Do you ever get in your way?